Moving to a rural town was once thought to be one of the hardest things I would have ever had to do. Turns out, it was one of the BEST decisions we could have made for our family. No restaurants, no problem! You quickly adapt to a new, BETTER lifestyle of experiencing the great outdoors, and not having your life revolving around entertaining with FOOD and other city conveniences.
While food is our #1 priority and concern, as I am certain it is also in your family, it wasn't until I moved out of the city and away from family, that I realized how much our society depends on food for entertainment! Family dinners, celebrations, boredom, birthdays, and simply because it's Friday night!
While we don't have many restaurant options, but we are fortunate enough to live by a restaurant that we have grown to trust. Mainly, and possibly only, because of the topic and experience I am writing about today!
We all know the drill... The lengthy explanation of our situation, accompanied by the desperate plea to get it right. This is typically followed by a prayer, as the waitress turns her back to go to the kitchen. Ugh...
I once heard that a food allergy mom is the only mom who prays BEFORE and AFTER a meal. This is completely true, at least for me...
When their food comes out, this is about the time where our stomach tightens, and the realization hits that now the safety of your child rests in the hands of this waitress and her willingness to ensure the food is safe. Then, there's the normal risk that is naturally at hand we have to face with every meal.
Now, whatever is about to happen, will happen. These moments are a daunting realization, and reminder, of why our community hesitates to eat out. I am confident you have all experienced this feeling.
One beautiful Saturday afternoon, we headed to The Grill. I started in with the typical safety routine to the waitress, looked her square in the eyes, repeated myself thoroughly, and had a decent feeling of comfort because I took extra time to explain.
Almost 55 minutes went by, and our food had still not arrived. We watched several tables, that arrived after us, get their food. Slightly irritated, and rapidly growing with anxiety, I saw our waitress approach with empty arms. She was obviously extremely flustered and on the verge of tears.
"I am so sorry your food is so late. The chef made her meal, and he put a bun on her hamburger. I told him she couldn't have the bun, and he just wanted to take the bun off and pretend it never happened so we didn't waste food. I got into a really heated argument with him, and I forced him to completely start over on her meal and didn't leave until I watched him complete it. I know I am going to get into huge trouble now, but I am so sorry your food is so late. If you'd like me to get a manager, I can"
Wow... Multiple emotions hit my body all at once, like a ton of bricks. I even get emotional writing this and reliving it. I'm just so thankful she cared enough about others, and to tell me the truth of what happened, that could have potentially risked the credibility and reputation of the restaurant.
While she was waited for my response to see I wanted to call for the manager to reprimand her, and the establishment for our food being "late", of course, the conversation took a turn she did NOT expect.
How do you express your gratitude? Is thank you enough? Is money enough?
How do you express your anger to the Chef? Would a raged-out mom, blowing the kitchen door open with one foot, and smoke coming out of her ears, be the proper response?
I sure felt like it... I felt like a lot of things, but I felt that my place was to focus on the negative experience she just went through, and highlight the fact that she potentially saved my daughters life that day.
Which is what I did...
I had an emotional heart-to-heart with her. I was also financially able to leave her two crisp $100 bill's on our low tab, with a "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY DAUGHTERS LIFE TODAY", written on the receipt. I would have loved to do more, like some of the stories you read about, but either way I wanted her to know she was appreciated.
After we sent in a formal letter to the owner, she was soon promoted to manager. Who knows if we helped contribute to the promotion, but we hope so.
Four years later, she is our exclusive waitress at the establishment. Even though we don't go too often, she consistently helps keep our daughter safe, by bringing pictures of labels for us to check every single time, confirming she watched the chef clean off the grill, use different utensils, etc.
I am not always able to leave "fat tips", but I do budget for extra special experiences! When I can't express my gratitude with monetary gestures, I MAKE SURE I leave a massive, positive impression on those who went out of their way and helped keep my daughter safe. Most of the time, I'll try to do all of the above!
Yes, we still modestly over-tip when we can afford it, but there some things in life that I find worth my money. This is one of them.
Some would say she's "just doing it for the tips now", and I would say "FINE BY ME!"
It's a very small price to pay for food allergy awareness, a little peace at a family outing, and let's face it- an inflated tip is much cheaper than an ER visit-or worse.
I have had several other experiences where employees will go the extra mile. When they do, and if I can't thank them with money, I ALWAYS praise the employee to a manager, write a review, send a formal letter to corporate, and recommend their establishment online to other food allergy families. Sometime, all of the above!
Point is, making a big deal out of the GOOD experiences, is a HUGE form of advocacy.
You can do this WITH or WITHOUT money!
Next week's post: SCHOOL SAFETY - Problems and solutions when advocating at your child's school!
Sometimes, these situations call for that, above-mentioned, raged out mom who comes in blasting the door open, with one foot...
Where does the line get drawn, when politeness needs to stop, and lawsuits need to be threatened?
Stay tuned!
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